It's been a year since heaven gained an angel and my heart broke into a million pieces.
It seem unreal that it has been a year. It seems like yesterday that I was sitting on the couch, cradling Cosmo and recounting all the times we had together. You know, when I was going through my divorce ny Dad called me and told me that I had to get up and walk Cosmo every day. And I thought to myself, of course I already do that. But what he was really saying was I know it will be even tough to do that, but you must. And I did without realizing what that was doing for me. I realized it only when I didn't have Cosmo to walk any more. And man, there are days when it has been taught getting out of bed this past year.
I've missed everything about Cosmo. I miss him greeting me at the door when I get home from work. I miss him flying off the couch and run to bed when I say let's go night, night. I missed talking to him and him listening to me when I'm upset about something. I miss him changing the sheets with me. I mostly miss our evening walks.
I've begun imagining a life with a new puppy, but I'm not quite there yet. One day, maybe. Until then, I'll say goodnight to Cosmo each night and look for him when I wake in the morning.
This is the first time in 15 years I did shop for a Halloween costume for Cosmo. I admit I was sad about it. I enjoyed the planning process. I always bought his costume in the summer (forever a planner) and many anticipated my social media posts revealing his costume. Today, I posed a photo of every Halloween spent with Cosmo - and all his costumes or headgear I would dress him in.
Here are just a few from over the years.
The pachyderm (AKA Elephant)
No trick-or-treating this year. But, I still got out the headgear (and my friends humored me by wearing some too).
As the months go by, I miss Cosmo more. As a year without him approaches, I wonder what life would be like with a new dog. I know I'm not ready - and not sure if I'll ever be - but I recently looked for breeders in my state. I guess most would look at that as a step forward.
In the meantime, I got out to do something Cosmo and I enjoyed together since we moved here. The Marathon. I volunteered this year to support athletes with disabilities. I escorted them from the finish line to their cool down tent. These athletes are beyond inspiring (and so were all the participants).
These are. few oldies, but goodies of me and Cosmo enjoying the Marathon.
The Family also got together to carve pumpkins. Who would have thought that a day in late October would be near 80 degrees.
This past week I was traveling for business. In the time of Cosmo, I would have felt immensely guilty for having to bring Cosmo to boarding and that he would have had to be there through Saturday morning because of my flight times. I'll admit, I was a bit sad this morning when I realized I didn't need to go get Cosmo from playing with his friends.
This week in San Francisco was exhausting. It was a lot of walking and standing and walking and standing some more. But, I learned a lot and got to meet my peers from other professional services organizations (Cosmo would have said that I deserved to be in the room, while I would have worried I wasn't good enough to be at the same table).
Lenny Kravitz opened the event and Matthew McConaughey was in the house (Bono was on site later in the week, but I wasn't able to make my schedule work to be there). There was also a lot of Formula 1 content (Grandpa Mac would have loved it to learn how they are using technology to create a better experience for the fans both on and off the track).
