I have to say...

 ...I spent hours this past weekend looking for a single photo from the early 1990s. I had forgotten what someone looked like that made such a deep impact on my life. Here's the punch line...I didn't find it. 

Almost two weeks ago, an actor died from ALS, otherwise known as Lou Gehrig's disease. I couldn't recall a single piece of his worked I'd watched (no, I never have seen Grey's Anatomy), but what I did watch was his health deteriorate the same way Jason's had more than 20 years ago. And suddenly, when his death was announced I found myself crying uncontrollably. Not just for the profound sense of loss that his family will feel for the rest of their lives, but for the loss that I never grieved all those years ago.

I was young, he was not. By the time I knew he was battling ALS, I had fallen deep. No one should be surprised that I was stubborn then, just as I am now. I truly thought he would be able to fight - and live. It's also how I see the world - rainbows and unicorns always. But his story didn't end like that, and neither did ours. 

Within a year, he could no longer live on his own. Six months from there, he lost his ability to communicate. I thought it was so cool that he too had the same technology as Stephen Hawking did. I got used to the voice of the computer communicating with me. It obviously could not replace his. 

By the time I finished my sophomore year of college, we had both come to the realization that if he was alive by the time I graduated, we would not have a fairytale ending. It was the most mature conversation I've had in my life. One of acknowledgement for what we brought to each other's lives and the care that needed to be given when telling someone they would flourish without them in your life. 

I went on to visit him when I would come home from college up until the time I graduated. By that time, I had fallen in love with the person who would become my husband and out of respect for him, we decided it was best for me to stop visiting. In all actuality, I couldn't continue to watch him die. It was heartbreaking. 

His courageous battle ended 17 years after he was diagnosed, passing away on Independence Day. I remember thinking when I heard the news, so symbolic getting his freedom on that very day. 

Years later, his parents shared with mine journal writings he made during the time of our relationship. Let me tell you, they are a real pick-me-up in times of struggle. You never know the impact you have on someone and I'm grateful for his parents for sharing them so I could better understand the impact I made on his life. 

I regret that I wasn't mature enough - or trusting enough - to ever share what he did for me. And it's only now that I could. Which is why I think this actor's passing has been so sad for me. It reminds me of a time in my life when I saw how the disease robs the brightest of lights and changes the lives of families forever. 

I'm still searching for the photo. I believe I will find it one day (remember, rainbows and unicorns). Until then, I have the best of memories.

And that's a wrap...

...on the year 2025.

I spent the holidays with my family and friends.

But first, I visited some of the sights around Chicago.

Next, I met with my friend Elizabeth for our annual gift exchange. This year's theme, items from your home state. I had to remind Elizabeth I have called 5 states my home, so she received something memorable from each state (and so did I).

Can you guess Elizabeth's home state from the picture below?

I flew to Texas to see the Mac Daddy and Mom and spent time making all their favorite treats, cruising the HEB grocery store aisles (when the MacDaddy didn't revoke my cart privileges), searching Walmart for the illusive Hershey's Kisses, and monitoring the comings and goings of my parent's neighbors (that's what they do in retirement).

I returned home for less than 12 hours, first having dinner with Nella, Linda, and Jen - and attending a holiday-themed burlesque show. 

Then, I drove to Kristin's house for Christmas. My brother-in-law's parents joined us Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I also spent time making cookies, but this time I had help from my sister's Mother-in-Law, Bonnie.

We had fun opening our gifts and I even got my brother-in-law's parents in on the head gear game for an expanded family photo.

We also played game and finished a puzzle.

We bought Finn a few new stuffies (a tree and a nutcracker...definitely on brand for us).

A good time was had by all (in our matching PJ's and head gear, of course).

Now, I have to say that the journey home from Kristin's house was a bit more interesting. I was about 1/4 of a mile from my turn off when all traffic came to a standstill. I sent a note to my sister to see if she knew of anything that was happening (mind you, this area has been a construction zone for the past year), and sure enough, she found that there was an accident. In fact, it was a semi accident and the semi was laying on its side across all three lanes of traffic, and the median. The semi also hit the concrete barrier and the lane going in the other direction was also impacted. To make a long story short, I was in pretty much the same spot for 4.5 hours. That was until a state patrol officer pulled up alongside my car (as he was doing to others) and provided me instructions to turn around, drive on the shoulder the wrong way, through a construction zone (mind you), and down an entry ramp where I'd be met by other State Patrol officers who would tell me what to do. Well, I did that. However the Patrol officers did not provide further instruction. Now, there is a first time for everything. And now I know what happens when you are stuck in traffic like this. I mean, I've seen it on the news and always wondered. Again, now I know and hope not to repeat the experience again.

Now, we are ready for what 2026 presents us. Happy New Year.