Many thought 2020 was the absolute worst year, but I remember saying at that time that it wasn't all that bad. We were able to spend more time at home with those we love, my friends and family were healthy, and Cosmo and I had each other.
So I'd argue that 2021 has been the worst year ever. We spent more time at home, which for me was a blessing because I was able to take care of Cosmo as he deteriorated. But, my friends and family did not remain healthy. I lost my Aunt and Uncle, the Omicron variant has made COVID amongst my friends and colleagues rampant, and Cosmo and I no longer have each other. It has been difficult to get through the last few weeks of 2021 without Cosmo.
I often talk about how Cosmo came to us. I was married at the time and. my now ex-husband really wanted a dog. Growing up, I was terrified of dogs and in 2007, when we brought Cosmo home, I was still terrified of dogs. He wanted a German Sheppard, which his family had many growing up. I wanted a rabbit, which I had growing up. When my sister-in-law's German Sheppard Duke passed away, she searched for the perfect family dog and landed on a Havanese. They named him Clyde.
When I was introduced to Clyde, he reminded me of my rabbit Flopsy. He was not scaring, but loving. He had human-like qualities; it was as though he was smiling when he looked at you. So I said to my now ex-husband, if you really want a dog, I'd want one just like Clyde. The bonus was that Clyde was non-shedding, hypoallergenic. Even better for me who is terribly allergic to almost all pet dander.
So, he went about finding us a dog...but only after we agreed on a trip to Vegas on 7.7.7 that it was time to add a pet to our home.
He called his sister's breeder who informed us that she had two litters...one born on 7.2.7 and one born on 7.4.7.
The journey to "acquire" Cosmo was one that I was foreign to. We had to meet with the breeder. We had to visit each of the liters for a few hours each week so the breeder could evaluate our interaction with the dogs and we had to write an essay about why we wanted one of her dogs. The final step was a multi-page legal document (that goodness my father and my father-in-law were lawyers).
The unique part of this situation is that you could not choose the dog you wanted, rather the breeder chose the dog for you. Of course in our essay we said we wanted a male dog that was not white (Clyde was white and we wanted more diversity in color for our dog). So when the breeder called to say that she had the perfect dog for us, but it was male and white, my now ex-husband had to call me and say was the color a deal-breaker. I said no, the gender was.
So, we excitedly went to pick up our dog on September 11, 2007 (note, the breeder wanted to name Cosmo's liter after Canadian Whiskey's...we had other plans). Gingerbread Case of Greygoose, aka Cosmo, made the 30-minute ride home in my lap (note, the breeder said that young dogs had a tendency to get car sick and that Cosmo could throw up on the way home...great - not what this clean girl wanted). He made it home in one piece and didn't throw up. He walked right into the house, ran to the carpet in our living room and immediately pee'd on the floor. And this is when the reality of Cosmo set in for me. My house would no longer be perfect. He'd make a mess and I'd be responsible for cleaning it up. I was terrified of dogs. Didn't know how to potty train a dog and certainly didn't know how to train a dog.
So, I proceeded to spend a the first few days of our journey taking care of Cosmo while working from home (not something people did a lot in 2007). My now ex-husband was home on the first day of the week, but traveled the rest, leaving me to just figure it out.
We eventually got the hang of it, including m teaching Cosmo how to fetch (something I had to do as he had so much energy, I couldn't figure out how to wear him out).
Today, I've always said that I'm grateful to my ex-husband for Cosmo. He was the best thing he ever gave me (I will give him credit for nothing else).
In some ways, Cosmo was the link to my old and new lives. Cosmo was with me when we lived in another state, had what many would say is the American Dream (a big house with a big lawn, two cards in the garage, great friends and a big family with nieces and nephews). And he was with me when it all came to an end and I had to find a way to find me again. Eventually, Cosmo was with me the day I got the news that I had achieved my career goal (to be clear, many told me I would never become a Chief Marketing Office). He was with me as I celebrated coming full circle.
That's why it is so hard that he is not with me today. He always reminded me of why I was working so hard to stand on my own two feet and be exactly who I knew I could be. I know he's watching over me and that gives me comfort.
So 2021 is when my life changed again. And just like I did all those years ago, I'll find a way to find happiness again, but this time I'll have to do it without the unconditional love and support from Cosmo,
So tonight, I'll have to find someone else to take on the New Year's headgear tradition we loved so much (well maybe not Cosmo, but he was a good sport). And here's hoping that 2022 will bring us all a little more love, joy and happiness.
